Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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