Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
