Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Randomize
