I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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