Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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