that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
