you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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