He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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