Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
