well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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