Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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