brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
