Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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