Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
