she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
