Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
