they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
