Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
PANTIES FOUND
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