NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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