One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
