She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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