I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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