before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
