my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
