Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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