Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
