You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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