Have you finally orgasmed yet?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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