I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
