dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
did you just send me my own nude
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
