duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Can you bring me the toilet please
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
