I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
