im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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