I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
