picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
