oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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