yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
