Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I love having hate sex.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
