If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
