Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Alive.
So much puke
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize
