since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
