I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
