You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
