so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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