i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
