I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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