im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
