I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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