just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
