with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
