I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
