I'll bet she douches with gravy.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
